Russian Blog
This is a blog by JustRussian about learning Russian. You will find useful tips for learning Russian, Russian courses available in London, information about Russian culture and links to websites with information for students of Russian.
Russian education: higher school.
By Vlada 29 April 08
More stories from a Russian teacher in London, or things you may be interested to know but won’t learn in a Russian course.
Two students meet: “Oh my God! We’ve been told we’ll have to learn Chinese!!” – “Hold on, don’t panic, when is the exam?”
That joke pretty much sums up students’ life… Fun, stress, short periods of hard work and long holidays! Oh, how stupid we were to be wanting to graduate and go to work!
So, what defines students’ life in Russia?
Entering a university
Until recently, there were entrance exams in all colleges (“instituty”- now all called “universitety”) and universities, traditionally in the Russian language, history and two other subjects, according to the specialisation of the faculty. One or two of the exams were written, and the rest oral (a presentation in front of a panel of teachers). In the last couple of years, a new system has been introduced – the so called “unified” final school exam, the score from which is used instead of the entrance exams. Moscow university (the biggest and the most prestigious university in the country) has resisted this system (rightly, in my opinion!) until this year, but now the “unified” exam will count towards the score at the entrance exams (although will not replace them) even in the Alma Mater itself of Russian higher education. Some faculties of Moscow University are notoriously difficult to enter. The competition is tough, so the entrance exams are designed to filter the applicants and accept the ones with the highest score. When I entered the Faculty of Philology in 1985, the competition was something like 9 or 10 people per place, and was not the highest on record!
The cost of education
Higher education is free for all citizens of the Russian Federation. Moreover, students are given “stipends” – little salaries which can be scrapped in case of bad academic performance. You can’t live on it, but it’s better than nothing.
With the advance of the market economy, however, many universities have opened fee-paying departments, and some fee-paying private colleges have appeared. The standard of education there can be lower, paradoxically, than in free state universities, but they are easy to enter, since they operate on a commercial basis.
Having said that education is officially free, I should however mention that in order to enter Moscow University I had to have private lessons with university tutors for 2 years, because of the huge gap between the school curriculum and the university entrance requirements. So my parents paid a lot of money to give me a chance to enter the university of my choice. Does it count towards the cost of higher education? Strictly speaking, I could get a less prestigious place without having the additional tuition.
The structure of education
A typical course of higher education in Russia lasts 5 years (6 years for doctors). So the degree that Russian graduates get corresponds to the British Master’s degree. There is generally no equivalent of the Bachelor’s degree. Some colleges have recently introduced shorter Bachelor’s courses, to follow the Western fashion, but it is still rare.
At the end of the course of study, a graduate has to “support a thesis” (“zashitit’ diplom”), which is a rather scary procedure involving presenting your graduation paper to a board of teachers who ask questions and give a final grade. Those who get an excellent grade get the red-coloured certificate of a university degree (corresponding to the British “honours” degree) and those with lower grades get a blue one.
Those who don’t want to leave the university after five years (yes, there are enthusiasts of this kind!) can stay on for another 2 years of full time postgraduate studies (“aspirantura”), provided they have been good students all along, and present a PhD thesis at the end, thus becoming a “kandidat nauk”, or a Doctor of whatever science or humanity they have studied.
Learning in Russia is still respected (just about…) and the postgraduates, as well as university teachers, can make a decent living out of giving private lessons, the most expensive of those are language lessons, including Russian.
Students’ life
Most students live at home, because most of them go to the local colleges and universities. Free places in the halls of residence are given to students who come from other towns/places. Moscow University’s halls of residence used to be a jolly place (I am sure it still is!), full of parties and gossip, with philosophy students regularly falling out of the 20th floor windows, after speculating about the meaning of life too much…
Being a muscovite, I was a “home” girl, and only visited the halls of residence to see my friends, who usually suffered from severe lack of sleep and no home dinners (whereas I didn’t have the freedom!)
Whatever your lifestyle is, as a full-time student you have to be at University every day and sit in lectures and seminars, and do the homework. Being expelled is quite possible, for bad grades and absences.
Each year is divided into groups who have most of the lessons together. During the semester, each group has:
•Lectures – given usually for the whole year in a big lecture room;
•Seminars – in a group of 10-20 people, where you are supposed to interact with the tutor;
•Colloquiums (colloquia) – same as seminars but with students answering the teacher’s questions;
•“Zachyoty” – exams without a mark, just “pass” or “fail”;
•Exams at the end of semester/year.
Summer holidays are long, from June to September, in June some students are required to do “practical work” (“praktika”) which usually consists of hanging around the building, shuffling papers in the administrative office or doing something clearly not related to your future qualification.
The exam periods at the end of a semester (in December-January and in May-June) are crazy times. We had several exams and tests, mostly oral ones, in each semester, with hundreds of exam questions and thousands of pages of literature to read, especially in literature courses. So it was our usual practice to get together in a group and divide the question list, so that one student prepares cheat-sheets and shares information on certain questions (so that you do 20 questions rather than 100). Talk about a team building exercise! Cheating was elaborate (with special devices like secret pockets and specially constructed clothes) and inevitable, because no human mind could embrace the amount of information we were required to know. So who knows how we turned out to be quite well-educated people…
Russian education: secondary school
By Vlada 30 March 08
More stories from a Russian teacher in London, or things you may be interested to know but won’t learn in a Russian course.
… “And the person who will come to the board and read the poem to us is…”
The teacher looks at the dreaded book called the “class journal” to select a victim’s name from the list. Thirty pairs of eyes look down, hoping the teacher will forget all about them. No one wants to recite the wretched poem and half the kids haven’t learned it anyway. The teacher looks at the page, choosing the surname with the least marks against it. A few seconds of tense silence.
“Ivanov!!”
A sign of relief from everyone but the hapless Ivanov, who gets up and shuffles to the blackboard. He’s got to face the class and recite a poem by Mayakovsky by heart. He will of course forget half of it and will sound so dull that only the severe look of the teacher will keep the class awake.
Does this sound familiar? It’s a Russian secondary school!
Here are some aspects of Russian school education which might be interesting for those who want to learn Russian and deal with Russians.
School age and types of schools: Russian children start school at the age of 7 (or sometimes 6) and finish it 17. I find it hard to understand what a kid can be doing at school at the age of 4, but I suppose it’s a cultural tradition. In big cities children are supposed to attend the school nearest their house, but if parents think a local school is not good enough, they will go to all sorts of trouble to enter their child into a better school, perhaps a “specialised” (“spetsialnaya”) one. All schools are divided into ‘ordinary’ (the majority) and ‘specialised’. The ordinary ones follow the general curriculum, teaching pupils the required minimum in every subject. The specialised ones teach certain subjects (for example, foreign languages or physics) in depth, and such schools generally have a better standard of teaching. The best ones are very difficult to get into, and kids often have to do a preparatory course before entering such a school or sit an exam or an interview. Schools are known by numbers, rather than names. I went to Moscow school number 488!
School schedule: The Russian school day is not very long, but home tasks are numerous and tedious. A lesson lasts 45 minutes. There are breaks between lessons, a couple of short 5 minute ones and a larger one in the middle. During the long break, kids can go to the canteen to eat. In my day the food was so bad it took courage to try it but I hear it is much better now. Younger kids have lessons from 8.30 or 9am until midday. As kids grow up, school days become longer and can run till 3 pm. There are no boarding schools in the English sense of the word; all children live at home and usually walk to school. Boarding schools are called “internat” and they are for those kids whose parents cannot look after them for some reason, or for those who live in very remote areas and can’t travel to school every day.
School holidays are generous. The whole summer is free (a 3-month break!), and most city kids go away to dachas or summer camps.
Cost of education: Education is free and compulsory for all children. When I went to school (in the Soviet times), secondary education was genuinely free, but today schools, which are badly financed by the state, require parents to collect money for various purposes: school equipment, trips, gifts for teachers at the end of the year and special occasions. In Russian culture, gifts and flowers are an important part of any celebration, and teachers get them all the time – for the beginning and the end of the school year, exams, birthdays, women’s day (traditionally, most teachers are women. The only men at school are usually PE teachers). In the old days, we had to collect money for the gifts and flowers too, so everyone is used to it.
School subjects: All schools are supposed to offer the same range of subjects: Russian, maths, literature, history, music, biology, geography, sport etc. Russian lessons are held every (or almost every) day. The Russian language is considered one of the most important subjects, together with mathematics, literature, history. Pupils do not have the option of choosing the subjects they want to learn, all subjects are compulsory. The “unimportant” subjects, such as drawing, music or PE, are often taught in a rather relaxed way, and are easy to get good marks for. I am pleased to say that Russian grammar is still taught to the full extent, with detailed study of all the cases, conjugations and the same rules and tricks we used to learn many years ago. Among the new subjects there is of course IT, but in most schools there is no free access to computers or the Net. School computers can only be used during the IT lessons, and most kids (in big cities) have computers and Internet access at home. In Moscow there is also a subject called “Moscow studies” – “moskvovedenie” – which covers the history and the culture of the city.
School teachers: I am sure everyone can remember a good teacher and a really dreadful one! I had a good one in Russian Language and Literature. She knew what she was doing and everyone was terrified of her, which meant class discipline was perfect. I absolutely hated the guy who ran “military training” (they don’t do it any more, but in those days we were supposed to be able to shoot – God knows why and at whom – and assemble the Kalashnikov machine gun. It was kept locked in the cupboard and the boys loved playing with it, whereas the girls used to break their nails on it and were generally not interested…) and of course the PE teacher was a complete jerk.
There is a shortage of teachers now, even in Moscow – especially language teachers: foreign languages and even Russian teachers. It’s a hard job, badly paid, and people with university degrees prefer other careers. So Moscow schools are now full of teachers from Ukraine and other ex-Soviet states, because the locals don’t want to work there. My Moscow friends who have kids of school age often complain to me that the teachers have awkward accents and are badly educated. (to which I say – “And would you teach at school?” – “Oh, God, no!” – “And neither would I, so what do you expect?! Should be grateful to whoever is willing to do it!”)
School discipline: The Russian system is much more old-fashioned than the British one. In class, pupils sit in rows, two at a desk, and are supposed to keep quiet and pay attention through the lesson. Whether they really do depends on the teacher of course! In some classes, you can hear a needle drop as the kids are too scared to misbehave. In others, hell breaks loose: there are dusters (we still have blackboards and chalk) and even chairs flying around the class and the shouting hurts your ears. The teachers can and do call pupils all sorts of names and can kick a naughty boy out of the class, with a kick in the backside to help him on his way (girls are exempt). Bullying occurs, although I can’t remember anything too outrageous in my class, apart from one guy being constantly thrown down the stairs… My personal dream was to study in a single sex school, not to be inconvenienced by fighting boys all the time, but we didn’t and still don’t have those.
Every couple of months parents’ meetings are held, where the performance and discipline of every pupil is commented on.
School uniforms: In the old days, we had a strict uniform: brown dresses with white cuffs and collar for girls and blue suits for boys. As girls grew bigger, the skirts grew shorter… Jewellery and make up were officially prohibited but some girls got away with it. There were (and still are) no regulations about shoes, so high heels were almost a must at the age of 16… Now there are no strict uniforms any more, but pupils are required to follow a school’s general guidelines on what kind of clothes to wear. Some schools require jackets of a certain colour, some want black and white clothes. Some schools have uniforms made to order for the whole year. And of course, the rules are much softer about make up and any “extras” added to the uniform. As a result, children now look more cheerful but sometimes totally inappropriate!
The system of grades: The traditional system is the grades from 2 to 5: 2 is poor (fail), 3 is satisfactory (a pass but not great), 4 is good and 5 is excellent. The pupils at the top of the class are called “otlichniki”, from the Russian word for “excellent” – “otlichno”. 1 is a joke super-bad grade, it officially doesn’t exist but is sometimes given to outrageously bad pieces of work. Some schools experiment with other systems of grades but it’s rare. Every pupil has a “diary” – “dnevnik” where all his/her grades are recorded for the attention of the parents. Also, the grades are entered into the class “journal”, and at the end of the term one general grade is given, which is usually the average of all grades received in the term. At the end of school there are final exams, the grades for which go towards the certificate of secondary education. According to the new scheme, they are taken into account when a school graduate applies for university entry.
Well, what else can I say? I myself went to a very ordinary school in a working class area of Moscow. When we graduated, the gap between the best and the worst performing pupils was huge: some of us were genuinely very well educated young people, familiar with the best of world culture, and some could hardly read and write. So I can’t generalise on the school standards, it’s up to the students to make the best of the system.
I went to school on my first day crying because I was scared and left it crying because I didn’t want to leave… Go figure!
Moscow 2008
By Vlada 5 February 08
Notes of a Russian teacher in London, or things you may be interested to know but won’t learn in a Russian course.
So what’s new in Moscow this winter? Here are my observations:
• The city centre has become very clean and smart. There are lots of new shops, restaurants and expensive cars. Muscovites are becoming richer and richer.
• There is a lot of construction: new houses and office blocks pop up in the tiniest imaginable places. Old buildings are renovated or knocked down to make way for new ones. Muscovites are upset by it.
• The city is clearly overpopulated. The Soviet infrastructure designed for 7 million people is struggling to support 14 million. The wonderful and fast underground system is chronically overcrowded. Muscovites are upset by it but it looks like it’s the price of success!
• There are huge numbers of young people everywhere. And they all smoke. I don’t like it. Neither the fact that they are much younger than me nor the smoking. My colleagues and I used to spend our breaks between lessons at Moscow University trying to kick smoking students out into the cold staircase. I wish I could do the same in cafes and restaurants!
• More and more women wear beautiful and expensive fur coats. They let the long hems sweep the dirty Moscow pavements and staircases with delicious nonchalance.
• Everyone had corporate (called “corporativ” in Russian) New Year parties, including taxi drivers and other people you wouldn’t classify as corporate employees. It was the hit of the season!
• Traffic jams have reached unspeakable proportions (worse even than London – honest!) so travelling by car in the city has become quite impossible.
• Prices are rising very fast and Moscow will soon be catching up with London!
Back to the future: the changing face of Russia
By Vlada 5 February 08
Notes of a Russian teacher in London, or things you may be interested to know but won’t learn in a Russian course.
I go to Moscow every 3 months, or at least, try to, even if it’s only for a couple of days. My next door neighbour in Moscow cannot figure out why I keep buying huge quantities of chocolates, sweeties and newspapers/magazines in the local shop and then pop in and out of the house with a suitcase. She probably thinks I sell those things for profit somewhere in the market (but where?) and then come back to refill.
The truth is that having lived in London for the last 8 years I’m a bit worried I may lose touch with what’s going on in my country, and will start telling my students complete rubbish about the Russian way of life. And perhaps the fact that I miss Moscow and get a bit irritable when I haven’t been there for a long time!
But not losing touch (at least culturally) is becoming easier and easier. Although materially Russia is moving further and further away from Soviet times, culturally speaking it is conforming more and more closely. We are going through a “Soviet renaissance” in popular culture these days. All the old Soviet movies and songs are back. It’s especially noticeable during the New Year holidays – a traditional time to stay home with your family and watch a lot of telly. The famous old comedies are shown on all channels. We can all quote lines from them, just tell us which episode. The old songs are being recovered by both young and old artists. And all the new entertainment programmes regurgitate the same old Soviet jokes, themes and images.
I wonder what 17-year-olds must think of all this. They were born after the collapse of the Soviet system so they must be a bit confused. It’s reassuring to see the same pop artists I used to see on the TV in my childhood – some of them look even younger and prettier than they did 30 years ago (it’s amazing what they can do with plastic these days!). I like it. It makes me feel at home.
On the other hand, I don’t understand why the whole huge country is living on ideas and images of a society that doesn’t exist any more. Perhaps it’s just the Russian nostalgic soul showing itself. Or is it that the people in charge these days are mostly my generation, who grew up with those films and songs and still love them? Who knows… I suppose one day a new generation will take charge and this apparition of the Soviet Union will go away. But so far, we are remembering the good things about the old life style having completely forgotten the bad ones.
Russian Christmas – the 7th of January
By Vlada 6 January 08
A few words about Russian Orthodox Christmas, Or something you might find interesting but won’t learn in a Russian course.
In Russia the tradition of celebrating Christmas goes back to the 10th century, when Russia adopted Christianity (before that, Russia was a pagan country with its own pantheon of Gods). At that time, all Christian festivals were heavily influenced by the pagan ones, and the celebration of Christmas was closely related to the ancient Slavic winter celebration in honour of the spirits of ancestors.
The Russian orthodox Christmas is 13 days later than the western European one. The reason is the change of calendars after the revolution of 1917. Before that, Russia was using the Julian calendar which was replaced in Europe (but not Russia!) in 1582 by a more accurate Gregorian one. The new Soviet government that came to power as a result of the revolution of 1917 introduced the Gregorian calendar in Russia but the Russian Orthodox church refused to follow it. So Russian church festivals “lag behind” the Western ones.
Christmas Eve is called Sochelnik in Russian. The name is derived from the food eaten by monks on this day – “sochivo”, made of boiled wheat and honey. It is forbidden for orthodox Christians to eat or drink anything on that day before the first star in the sky appears.
In the country people used to make bonfires on Christmas Eve – this old Slavic tradition symbolised the return of the Sun, the victory of light over darkness and the cult of deceased ancestors. The spirits of ancestors were supposed to come to the bonfires to warm up because they were cold lying in the winter ground.
Christmas Eve supper is a special occasion, consisting of 12 dishes. But in the 40 days before Christmas, people are supposed to observe a strict lent: no meat, butter, milk or eggs, and on some days of the week no fish, oil or wine either. In the last week before Christmas the lent becomes stricter and includes spiritual elements: prayers, forgiveness, staying away from entertainment (including television!)
After the start of Christmas (midnight of the 6th), luxury foods come back. The festive menu is heavy and versatile: the traditional sochivo, pancakes, fish, different kinds of ham, lamb with buckwheat, sausage, roast piglet, goose or duck with apples, pies and pastries… Russians like to eat, as you probably know!
The 12-day period after Christmas is called “Sviatki”, from “sviatoi” – “holy”. During this time, people are supposed to play games, enjoy rich meals, go around houses singing Christmas carols, go for downhill sledge rides, congratulate everyone on the Sun turning towards summer. These are also the days when one can predict the future. So girls practised (and some still do!) all sorts of divination, at night, with mirrors and candles, in order to see their future husband. Divination in the country was a special event, more like a girls’ party, with scary stories about what can happen if the magical process goes wrong (a devil may jump out of the mirror at midnight and strangle you, or even worse, carry you away with him!), and how to avoid it. One of the simplest and silliest methods of Christmas fortune-telling is described by Pushkin and other Russian poets: a girl takes off a shoe or a boot and chucks it through the window. If it’s found by a man, the girl should ask his name, and this will be the name of her future husband. Or you can go around people’s houses and listen at the windows for any snippets of conversation. That conversation will contain the prediction for the coming year. These days, fortune-telling with candle wax and coffee is a well known entertainment (harmless and of course pointless, but who cares?)
Having said all this, I should mention that Christmas, being a religious festival, was not celebrated during the Soviet era (for about 80 years) and the tradition was lost. It was brought back as a national holiday and a day off a few years ago, but is still regarded as a religious event, celebrated by believers. The New Year remains the main holiday of the winter in Russia.
Happy New Year!
By Vlada 17 December 07
History of the Russian New Year,
Or something you might find interesting but won’t learn in a Russian course!
As you probably know, the main winter celebration in Russia is the New Year, not Christmas. But did you know that in the 10th-15th centuries Russian New year was celebrated in spring, on the 1st of March? In those old days, the New Year celebrated the beginning of the warm season and agricultural work. In 1492 the tsar Ivan III established a new date for the New Year – the 1st of September, on the day of various tax collections. So it wasn’t a cause for celebration! On New Year day anyone, even a commoner, could ask for an audience with the tsar.
Peter the Great (who in the Russian tradition is called Peter the First) was the tsar who introduced a lot of new things in Russia, including western-style celebrations of the New Year. In 1699, he ordered all Russians to celebrate the beginning of a new year on the 1st of January and to wish each other a Happy New Year on that day. Following the European tradition, he changed even the year itself! At that time, years in Russia were counted from the creation of the world and not from the birth of Christ (although how and who established the exact biblical date of the creation is a mystery to me!) So the year 7208 became the year 1700. Peter ordered New Year services to be held in churches. All his subjects were to wish each other a Happy New Year and all parents were to entertain their children by riding sledges down hill.
The first ever new year celebration was held in Moscow in 1700. There was a huge New Year fireworks display in Red Square, produced by more than 200 guns. At midnight, Peter himself walked into Red Square with a torch and launched the first rocket into the sky. Following him, in all the palaces people fired guns, launched fireworks and made fires out of straw.
To check if his subjects were following his orders to celebrate, Peter with his retinue could unexpectedly turn up in the house of one of his courtiers/ministers to see how his family were celebrating. Those who displayed a “sour face” were flogged.
At court, the New Year entertainment lasted a week. There was so much food and drink that half of the guests fell asleep under the table. At the festive dinner in the palace, alongside with traditional Russian food and drink, the tsar introduced fashionable things: the exotic potatoes brought from Holland and coffee. The tsar was very keen on making everyone drink coffee whether they liked it or not!
Here are the instructions on how to handle the guests during the festive dinner: “Drink as much as you want, as long as you can stand. For those who lie down, no more alcohol, even if they ask for it. Unconscious revellers should be stashed carefully in the corner, to avoid injury, away from the dancing floor… Put different genders separately to avoid embarrassment after waking up.” At the same time, commoners could enjoy fountains pumping out red and white wine. According to the accounting books of that time, the whole dinner cost 80 roubles at a time when you could buy a cow for 3 roubles.
After the dinner, there was a fancy dress party. The tsar was dressed as a Dutch sailor and his wife Catherine as a Dutch peasant girl.
It was Peter who brought the first Christmas tree to Russia by ordering streets and houses to be decorated with branches and whole trees of fir and pine. The trees were to stay until the 7th of January. However, the only people who were enthusiastic about the new decorations were pub owners who put up fir trees on the roofs of their drinking establishments to attract more people, mostly drunkards. It was only in the 19th century that Christmas trees became a respectable decoration and were put up in the salons of aristocracy and even in the houses of ordinary people.
So Happy New Year and have fun!
Intensive Russian course
By Vlada 27 November 07
What exactly does it mean?
I often have requests for teaching an intensive Russian course but in most cases it turns out that a person wants to do 1 or 2 hours of lessons a week… So what kind of course can be called intensive? Here are the main features of one:
1) Intensive schedule. It can vary from as much as 6 hours a day 5 days a week to 2 hours a day, with a lot of homework. 5 or 6 hour a day courses should be taught by several (minimum 2) teachers, to avoid “having too much” of the same person and teaching style. They can be divided into different aspects of language learning – listening comprehension, reading, discussion, grammar. Such a course requires a lot of concentration and effort from students and is usually done over a short period of time, from a few days to a few months. My personal record is 5 hours a day with the same student, and that is pretty tiring for both sides of the learning process! A “milder” intensive course can be 2-3 hours per day, with homework set to be done in the afternoon/evening.
2) A target to achieve. Intensive courses are good for people who have time to spare before they start some new undertaking that requires knowledge of Russian: a new job, a business or holiday, being posted for work to a Russian-speaking country. An intensive course should aim to get a student to a certain level in the shortest time possible.
3) Commitment. I would advise prospective students to think carefully about whether they can dedicate enough time and effort to doing an intensive course, before committing to it. It’s a time consuming and costly exercise and it will work only if a student is prepared to put in time and work.
4) Continuity. There is no point in doing an intensive Russian course and not continuing learning the language afterwards. Ideally, an intensive course should be a part of a longer extensive one, or followed by an extensive one, to maintain and improve the knowledge acquired in the intensive course. As we all know, when you don’t use a language, it drains away pretty quickly…
Summing up, an intensive course can be an extremely useful step in language learning but it does not guarantee learning a language in a short period of time just because it’s intensive. Learning a language is all about long term accumulation of knowledge and practice, rather than trying to cram too much into one’s head in a short blast!
So are you ready to do an intensive Russian course? Then give us a call!
The Russian Day of National Unity – the 4th of November
By Vlada 2 November 07
Teaching Russian courses in London, I am often asked questions about Russian traditions, customs and celebrations. So one of the themes for my blog is Russian holidays and traditions, especially the ones that are unknown in Britain.
The coming holiday: Day of National Unity –the 4th of November
This is a confusing holiday, I should say. The thing is, no one really knows what we are celebrating. Most people think it’s a replacement for the old Soviet holiday, the Day of October Revolution of 1917 – the event which put Russia on the path to communism and changed the face of the country for good. The old holiday was on the 7th of November and was celebrated in the Soviet era on a grand scale, with the famous (“let’s scare the West!”) military parades in Red Square, concerts, speeches and patriotic films on the telly. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the 7th of November is not a national holiday any more and is marked in the calendar as “The day of National Concord and Reconciliation”, to commemorate the conflict and suffering that the revolution brought about. It’s now considered to be a memorable day but not a national holiday.
As it turns out, the 4th of November has nothing to do with the 7th, they just happen to be close by (after all, you can’t just abolish one national holiday and not replace it with another – people need their day off!). This holiday was celebrated in Russia before the Revolution of 1917, marking an equally important event in Russian history – the end of “Smouta” in 1612. The word “smouta” is difficult to translate into English with one word. It means a turbulent time of trouble and uncertainty.
Here is a short history of the smouta:
In 1603, there were rebellions in many of the western, central and southern regions of Russia. Rebel troops approached Moscow and were defeated by a government army. But next year another rebel appeared – a monk called Grigory Otrepyev, who claimed to be Dimitry, the son of Ivan the Terrible, saved by a miracle. Dimitry was officially considered to have died in an accident a few years earlier, but unofficially was believed to have been murdered by the then Tsar Boris Godunov in his fight for the throne. Grigory raised an army and managed to enter Moscow after the unexpected death of the tsar, Boris Godunov. Known as “the Impostor” and “the False Dimitry”, he ruled for a short while but was killed in 1606 (his ashes were shot from a gun off the Kremlin wall… but let’s not go into gory detail!). The tsar’s throne was taken by Vassily Shuysky, an aristocrat tracing his pedigree back to the first king of Russia Rurik. But soon False Dimitry number 2 appeared. He laid siege to Moscow, and at the same time Russia was attacked by the armies of the Polish and Swedish kings. The Poles captured Moscow. The Swedes tried to take over the north-west of Russia. The rest of Russia was at the mercy of hordes of rebels and bandits. False Dimitry number 2 was killed but promptly replaced by number 3. From then on any more or less self-respecting rebel armed formation had its own Dimitry. The situation was desperate.
The country was saved in the autumn of 1612 by a people’s army, raised and led by two people – a commoner Kozma Minin and a prince Dmitry Pozharsky. (you can see a bronze representation of them in Red Square, just in front of St Basil’s Cathedral). On the 4th of November 1612, their army liberated the centre of Moscow from Polish troops. A new, very young tsar was elected – Michail Romanov, the first tsar of the Romanov dynasty.
They say the army and the crusade lead by Minin and Pozharsky (people symbolically belonging to different classes of society) was a unique phenomenon in Russian history because it was the only time when the people themselves took control of the destiny of the country, while the state authority was completely helpless. People collected money and went to establish order in the capital. They went to fight not for the tsar (there was no tsar!) but for the country – and they won.
So, that’s what we are celebrating on the 4th of November, instead of the revolution… I must admit, I was a bit vague about it until I decided to write this post and looked it up. But now we know!
Business Russian Course
By Vlada 18 October 07
What exactly does it mean?
I often have requests for teaching business Russian, and often people who want to do it are very vague about what aspect of Business Russian they are interested in. The fact is that business Russian is a very broad term, covering a vast range of vocabulary and functions: from telephoning and making simple arrangements for meetings and travel to carrying out business negotiations and handling business correspondence (the latter, in particular, is so specialised that not all native speakers of Russian would be able to do it without previous experience!)
So, if you are interested in a business Russian course, what kind of course can you do?
If you are an intermediate (upper intermediate) student, you will be restricted to fairly simple things: learning how to start a phone conversation, or fix a meeting. You can expand your vocabulary into a work-related sphere. The most common vocabulary areas are: banking and finance, the work of business enterprises, negotiating vocabulary, oil and gas (since Russia is rich in it!), law (a vast field in itself). There are unfortunately no easy ways of learning vocabulary, you’ll just have to make a list and learn it…
If you are an advanced student, or a native speaker of a Slavic language who finds learning Russian vocab relatively easy, you could do all of the above, plus more difficult stuff: working with business documentation related to your work (translating or rendering the gist of documents), writing business letters or e-mails (which requires a very good
command of the language), and participating in work/business meetings with Russian native speakers.
Needless to say, if you are a beginner, you need to build a substantial foundation of general Russian before you can start learning business Russian.
The choice of textbooks in the UK for business Russian is not very wide (as is the case with textbooks of general Russian). I can recommend “Russian for Business Studies” by Svetlana Le Fleming. It gives good coverage of different aspects of business vocabulary, and supplies good texts and exercises for practice and revision. There are a lot of booklets on the subject published in Russia but they are not comprehensive course books, so they can only be used as supplementary materials for reading or translating. Some of them have promising titles such as “A course for business people” but they often just give texts and dialogues with parallel translation.
One problem of all textbooks of business Russian is that the economic situation in the country has been changing so quickly in the last 15 years that texts on business and economics become obsolete as soon as they get published. So it’s much better and more interesting to use “fresh” authentic materials from the Russian press and the internet but that could only be done at a very advanced level.
And finally, I am afraid I have to say that no one learns business Russian for fun (or, at least, I’ve never met such people). It’s the most boring course a Russian tutor ever has to teach, and it’s hard work for students. But if you have to deal with Russian partners or clients in your working life, it will make a big difference and will be greatly appreciated!
Russian popular jokes – “Anekdoty”
By Vlada 22 September 07
…Or another thing you won’t learn about in a Russian course…
Moscow, 6 am. I’ve just got up to go to the airport to fly back to London. To wake up, I turn on the telly and see a popular old actor, sitting at table with other celebrities, saying “… so, Cinderella wanted to go to the ball but she had terrible diarrhoea!”… followed by giggles in the audience… “and then the fairy godmother comes and says…”
What on earth is this?! It’s an “anecdote” show! These popular short jokes are so much part of Russian social culture that they gave rise to several TV shows, they get published in newspapers and on the net, and punch lines from well-known jokes have become a point of reference in Russian culture. Where do these jokes come from? No one knows! No one seems to write them specially but they just appear and get passed on, from person to person, then get forgotten or changed. The ability to tell a good joke is a valuable social skill. An occasion to put one in usually comes up in conversation, a joke related to the subject brightens it up. Some people can tell jokes non-stop, all through a party, they collect them and pass them on.
Believe it or not, Russians like to have a good laugh. However gloomy we may seem in the street or in public places (I myself am a culprit, the phrase “cheer up, lady!” is a standard from builders and guys passing me by in the street in this country), when they get together with friends and family, there is nothing like a good joke. We like to laugh at our own inadequacies and national traits, at our history and politicians, at different nationalities and even literary characters. Knowing a few funny jokes would help you to break the ice in any Russian-speaking company. Just make sure they are funny…
Out of the huge sea of jokes you can single out several themes: jokes about Russian life and national heroes (In particular one guy called Vassily Ivanovich and his friend/ assistant Pyetka – they were both heroes of the Civil War which followed the Revolution of 1917 and became cult figures, the jokes though are all focussed on how dim they are…), about other nationalities within Russia and abroad, about real-life celebrities and politicians, about professions, husbands and wives. There are jokes meant for children, told at schools. There are jokes containing foul language, so rude that they can seriously offend people. By the way, all the jokes I’ve ever seen published in Russian textbooks are painfully unfunny. To be fair, so are the ones I regularly read in newspapers.
In the Soviet times there were rumours about a whole research institute in the USA making anti-Soviet jokes and distributing them on the territory of the Soviet Union, to bring down the morale of the population. It’s a funny idea but I don’t think it can be true because the whole point of a good joke is that it improves the morale of the people even if it’s making fun of their life. Some Soviet anecdotes were “forbidden” (that is, they made fun of the party leaders) and were told quietly in people’s houses. And in Stalin’s time, of course, one could get into very serious trouble for telling the wrong joke. But people still told them!
Jokes even get nicknames: old and well known jokes are called “bearded” (so old that they have grown a beard!); primitive ones are called “army jokes”; silly ones are called “childrens’”. People always precede an anecdote with the phrase “Would you like me to tell you an anecdote?” – “Hochesh, anecdot rasskazhu?”, and then of course tell it, whether you want it or not!
By the way, would you like me to tell you what happened to Cinderella in that joke? The fairy godmother came and said “I know you have a diarrhoea problem Cinderella, so I am going to give you a crystal stopper for your bottom.. But beware: At midnight it’ll turn into a pumpkin.”
And of course, this entry would be incomplete without some samples of “anekdoty”, translated into English:
On the Russian character:
How do you make an inexperienced recruit jump with a parachute for the first time? To an American, you should say: “If you are a real man, you will jump!” To an Englishman, you should say: “Sir, this is a tradition”. To a Frenchman: “This is a lady’s request”. To a German: “This is an order!” To a Russian you should say: “It is prohibited to jump!”
On different nationalities:
British, American and Russian police are taking part in a competition to decide who’s best at catching criminals. They are given a task: a hare has been let loose in the forest, and they need to catch it.
English policemen establish a network of informers among the animals throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses, and after three months of hard work come to the conclusion that hares do not exist in nature.
Americans break into the forest, scour it for two weeks, cannot find the hare, burn down the forest, kill everyone including the hares, and leave without apologising.
Russians go into the forest for two hours and come back with a badly beaten bear who is crying: “Yes, I admit I’m a hare! Just stop beating me!”
On “new Russians”, or the nouveau riche:
The daughter of a new Russian is writing an essay for school: “Once upon a time there lived a poor girl. She lived in a poor family, and the servant in this family was also poor, and their driver was poor.”
On vodka: – Vodka?! In the morning?! Warm?! Out of a soap dish?!!! … OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO!
A 200 percent spirit is invented. An American tries it. After one glass, he’s dead. A Frenchman has a go – he gets two glasses down before he drops dead. A Russian tries. Ten glasses later, he says: “This is outrageous! They’ve only just invented it, and already they’ve diluted it with water!”
On the English:
Three elderly English ladies are sitting in the garden, knitting. Suddenly a gorilla jumps out of the bushes, grabs one of the ladies and carries her into the woods. The other two carry on knitting… Half an hour later, one of them says: “I wonder what is it about her that he liked?”
Russian textbooks. Part 2
By Vlada 23 August 07
Are you about to take Russian lessons and do not know which course book to choose? Here is a little more of what you need to know.
In the previous part of the blog I talked about the two most widely used textbooks of Russian in the UK – Colloquial Russian and Ruslan. Now it’s time to mention some less popular but still well known ones.
Zhili-Byli, by L. Miller, L. Politova and I. Rybakova
This course book comes in two parts: Zhili-Byli 1: 28 Lessons of Russian for beginners, and Zhili-Byli 2: 12 lessons of Russian, basic level. It was published in St.Petersburg in 2000.
Zhili-Byli means “once upon a time”, it’s the traditional first line of children’s fairy-tales. Although the course is published in Russia, it is available in the UK (from Grant and Cutler or the net). I know that some of my colleagues like to use it. The thing about this course is that it is in Russian ONLY. No explanations or instructions in any other language but Russian, which totally rules it out as a self-study book. It requires a dedicated teacher who will make sure that all grammar points are understood and tasks are clear. To be fair, it is clearly structured and everything is explained with the help of examples and little tables for memorising but I (call me old-fashioned!) don’t really see the point of a textbook for complete beginners written entirely in the target language. I hate to think what my English would be like I had been taught it in English…
On a positive side, the course is supplemented by tapes and is full of quite jolly pictures that one can talk about – which stops it becoming boring (the characters in those pictures look a bit weird, but having published textbooks myself I know how impossible it is to find a good artist to produce illustrations for a book; they always come out either weird or scary!). So it’s a usable course but I wouldn’t use it myself.
Zhili-Byli 2 would be a good book to use for someone who has done Russian before but forgot a lot and needs to refresh their knowledge of the language, or for people with a Slavic mother tongue. It is in Russian only, but since it’s designed for upper-intermediate to advanced students, that’s totally justified. The book offers revision of all basic grammar in Russian and all the common vocabulary groups: shopping, food, health etc. It has good texts, and every unit has a short story by some Russian author at the end, for home reading. Some tasks are very interesting and include explaining idioms, describing pictures etc. I have used it myself, but it’s not a complete course, so it needs to be supplemented by additional grammar exercises and of course it requires teacher’s explanations of all the material. (unlike Colloquial Russian where everything is explained so well that any learner can take it and learn from the book, only asking the teacher to check their progress!). It wouldn’t be my first choice of a textbook but it would be good as a source of supplementary texts and exercises.
Russian dachas
By Vlada 21 July 07
Just as I realised that the summer is half gone I thought it was time to introduce a seasonal theme to my blog. Never mind the Russian lessons… Schools are closed, courses can wait till September. What do Russians do in summer? They go to the Dacha!
In my childhood, Dacha was a magical word. It meant a whole world of wonderful things: freedom from school and homework, sleeping and playing as much as you want, eating tasty juicy things straight from trees and the ground (often unwashed), chasing furry animals around, getting a chance to stroke scary huge horses and cows, swimming in the river, getting lost in the forest etc. So when the school year began in September, I used to count the days left till the end of May. Yes, Russian kids have a 3 month holiday in summer! Now of course, as a grown up person, I understand that keeping a dacha is hard work: all that gardening, travelling, maintenance…
So what exactly is a dacha?
It’s a country retreat for a city family, usually used during summer months or at weekends. It can be owned or rented. It can be as large or small as a family can afford or prefer (a whole huge house with all mod cons or part of a small house with basic facilities), but it must have a plot of land with a kitchen garden, some fruit trees and flowers. Almost all Russians have a strong country connection (it is historically an agricultural country!) and understand that it’s much healthier for the kids and adults to spend time in summer in fresh air, rather than being locked up in a city flat somewhere on the 14th floor. Those kids lucky enough to have a live-in retired babushka (grandmother), stay at the dacha all through summer. Those who aren’t, come to the dacha at weekends with their parents. For grown-ups, a dacha is a perfect place to relax and unwind, to invite their friends for a barbecue, or a party, to go fishing, walking, mushroom picking etc.
How come most families can afford to have dachas?
Owning or renting a dacha is a tradition that goes back a couple of hundred years, so it’s very much part of the Russian lifestyle and culture. Most dachas are inherited within a family, they were given out for free in the Soviet times, distributed by the state according to one’s social status and occupation. Those are situated in special dacha settlements all around big cities. Some dachas are real country houses bought by city people, some are rented for a couple of months in summer. Often dacha owners started with just a piece of land and gradually built a house on it. More recently, in post-Soviet times, dachas have been bought and sold like any other real estate. Of course not all families can afford one, but most have some kind of access to a dacha – it can be shared with family, friends, or it can be an invitation from relatives in the country to come and stay.
All that said, I know a couple of people who hate dacha life and choose not to have a dacha.
What’s the inside of a typical dacha like?
I am afraid, a typical dacha is a traditional dumping ground for all unwanted stuff that is chucked out of a city flat. Or is it just my family?! Every time I come to my parents’ dacha, it’s like a trip down memory lane: here is a sofa on which I slept when I was a child, there is an “antique” radio-stereo system from the 70s, in the room next door there is a half-dead telly that brings back memories of watching the news during the collapse of the Soviet union. But the most amazing artefact is the fridge, which was bought in 1966 and is still working very well! Most dachas are not very smart places, they are for relaxation, for walking around in dirty country shoes, for not being bothered…
Some houses have running water and proper plumbing, some don’t, in which case there is an outside loo and shower. Summers in Russia are hot so lots of people have showers outside, with water heated by the sun.
What’s the outside of a typical dacha like?
The typical size of a dacha plot is 5 “sotkas” (a sotka is one hundredth of a hectare) which is not very big, but enough to have a vegetable patch (potatoes, cucumbers, carrots, strawberries – all the usual stuff), bushes of berries alongside the fence (black and red currants, raspberries, gooseberries), a few fruit trees (apples, pears, plums, cherries), a shed, an outside toilet, a garage for those with cars, a table for eating al fresco, a couple of benches. Perhaps a place for a hammock or a swing. In the old days, people grew a lot of fruit and veg, made a lot of preserves for the winter and took “food production” at the dacha seriously. Now lots of people don’t bother to do it any more, so vegetable patches are being replaced with English-style lawns and flower beds. Around Moscow, anyway.
How far can a dacha be from someone’s city flat and how do people get there?
The closer a country house is to the city, the more expensive and “urbanised” it is. It can be as close as a 20-minute train ride. But most dachas are about 70-100 kilometres from the city, so a couple of hours away. Some people I know have their dachas in remote villages, as far from Moscow as the Volga river – there you can have much more space and it’s more “authentic” and rural, with proper forests and rivers. On Saturday morning and Sunday evening in summer all the suburban trains are full of people in scruffy clothes, with plants, pots, dogs and cats in bags. They are going to the dacha! The traffic jams on motorway become horrendous, and getting in and out of the city becomes a nightmare.
What happens to dachas in winter?
They stand locked up and deserted most of the time. The owners sometimes come to check if everything is OK, get jars of jam and stewed fruit out of the basement, to take back to the city. Normally, dachas are not centrally heated, they only have small stoves and electric heaters. However, there are “winter dachas” – proper country houses with central heating and all mod cons, lived in all year round.
And finally, on a less positive note: with all the pleasures of dacha living there is one big pain – being bitten by mosquitoes! People in England don’t realise how lucky they are not to have these creatures from hell all through summer! The beasts come out at night in their millions to ruin your life. So you have to arrange a complicated defence system: nets on the windows, fumigators, sprays, turning off the light in the room not to attract them etc.
Come to Moscow in summer, in good weather at a weekend, and you’ll find the city half-empty – everyone will be gone to the dacha!
Russian textbooks
By Vlada 20 June 07
Are you about to take Russian lessons and do not know which course book to choose? Your Russian teacher will of course help you, but if you are on your own, here is what you need to know.
The two most popular Russian course books in the UK are, ironically, complete opposites of each other. They are Colloquial Russian by Svetlana le Fleming and Susan Kay (Routledge Publishing, first published in 1993, price £15) and Ruslan – Russian by John Langran and Natalya Veshnyeva. (Ruslan Publishing, first published in 1996, price £11.80).
Being a Russian tutor, I use them every day. They are both usable, practical and reasonably priced. Here is what I can tell you about them.
Colloquial Russian, by Svetlana le Fleming and Susan Kay
This course book comes in two parts: Colloquial Russian 1 is for beginners, Colloquial Russian 2, published much later, is for advanced students.
I have huge respect for the authors of this textbook. Colloquial Russian is reassuringly consistent and professional in its presentation of material. On the whole, it’s a very good textbook, for people who are used to learning languages through grammar and understand the importance of structured studying. It will give you a good solid knowledge of Russian. I really like using it, but… (why is there always a BUT?!)
In Colloquial Russian 1 the texts are so boring and obsolete that it takes a very dedicated student not to fall asleep struggling through them. And it takes a very patient teacher to explain all the Soviet-time references that are no longer relevant in Russian life. The audio tapes are not great: the main texts are not recorded at all, and with the parts that are recorded, the quality of sound leaves much to be desired. In addition to that, Colloquial Russian 1 is meant to be a course for complete beginners, but half way through it becomes – in my opinion – too difficult for most learners. So the average beginner, in my experience, tends to lose the will to live in Lesson 10. On a positive note, if you are an experienced language learner, you’ll appreciate the good aspects of this book.
Colloquial Russian 2 is a recently published course by the same authors for advanced students. It has the same advantages as the first part – great for revision of grammar and structures of Russian. The texts are modern and the presentation of material is consistent and comprehensive as usual but… it has the same old problems. The audio tapes aren’t of high quality and some chapters are based on boring or bizarre texts. There are quite a few misprints and the general impression is that the authors were in a hurry to put it together. Also, each unit is preceded by a text in English, the purpose of which is not clear.
Ruslan Russian, by John Langran and Natalya Veshnyeva.
It is probably the most popular textbook for adult learners in the UK, and has a whole complex of materials: three levels, main books, workbooks, CDs and CD ROMs. Its methodology is the complete opposite to Colloquial Russian. Ruslans 1 and 2 are based on lively, easy to follow dialogues, supplemented by a very good quality recording, CD Rom, and a workbook for additional exercises.
Much though I like its author John Langran, and though I use the books every day and can quote from them by heart, there is a drawback… This course has a serious shortage of grammar and vocabulary explanations which frustrates both students and teachers, plus over-simplification of grammar. All that said, it is redeemed by the story of Ludmilla and her numerous admirers, which provides an endless source of jokes and giggles in the classroom.
Ruslan 3 (for advanced learners) is a new addition to the Ruslan family. It follows a different format but has the same characters, but they somehow lose their charm at this stage. It is a good source of reading material for students who enjoyed studying with the first two Ruslans. It dwells on Russian curiosities, the descriptions of which you’ll never find in any other textbook. But if you haven’t read the first two Ruslans, it will be a bit lost on you.
Through Russia with love, by Natalya Veshnieva
A relatively new course produced by Natalya Veshnieva, John Langran’s co-author in the Ruslan series. It looks like an attempt to create a better, improved and expanded version of Ruslan, with a whole new set of characters travelling through Russia. When it first came out, potential students were put off by its price: a lot of exercises are based on listening and the book has several CDs that should be bought to do this course properly. I’ve recently bought a version published in Russia, with just 1 CD and therefore much cheaper but I am not sure it is available in London in that format. Basically, it’s just like Ruslan, but with lots of additional material: crosswords, puzzles, games, all sorts of creative and communicative tasks. A bit too scattergun, in my opinion. It looks and feels messy and does exactly what Ruslan does.
Russian materials and the Media
By Vlada 21 May 07
Course materials
Have you decided to take Russian lessons and looking for a textbook? Or just looking for something to read in Russian?
The place to go is a shop called Grant and Cutler, Foreign language booksellers. Their address is 55-57 Great Marlborough Street, London W1V 2AY. Phone – (44) 020 7734 2012; www.grantandcutler.com The nearest tube station is Oxford Circus, it’s about 10 minutes walk from the tube. They have a very good selection of Russian textbooks and course materials including some newest ones just published in Moscow (at much higher prices than in Moscow – but that’s only fair, they have to be imported!). They also sell Russian newspapers, books, DVDs, Russian Cyrillic stickers for a computer keyboard, for those who type in Russian. If they don’t have in stock the textbook you need, you can order it by post.
Russian press
If you are looking for Russian news on the net, the place to go is www.smi.ru This website has links to all Russian publications, both “paper” and on-line ones. It gives you categories of news, as well as links to publications by name. You can browse articles and archives of most Russian newspapers and magazines free of charge.
The most popular Russian newspaper is called Argumenty i Facty (Arguments and Facts). It’s a weekly with a circulation of about 3 million copies. It’s a universal reading material for every taste: serious articles about politics, society and economics are mixed with gossip, jokes and horoscopes. Persistent advertising of medicines and clinics makes you think that you are dealing with a nation of severe hypochondriacs… which is only partly true. On the whole, I would recommend Argumenty i Facty to any advanced learner. They maintain a good standard of writing, have practically no mistakes in Russian and provide interesting topics for discussion. I use it a lot myself as a source of materials for advanced courses. The version of Argumenty i Facty sold in London is unfortunately different from the authentic Russian one. I remember buying it a couple of times, looking forward to the news and the gossip, and getting disappointed by a big boring section dedicated to Russian communities across Europe.
The most scandalous papers are called Moskovsky Komsomolets and Komsomolskaya Pravda (the names are a heritage of the Soviet times, they ironically and totally contradict the content!) They are so gossipy and so full of slang that you need to be a native speaker to read them.
A good magazine to read is the Ogonyok (another Soviet name – “Sparkle” or “Little Flame”). It’s a serious yet interesting magazine with very high quality writing. Unfortunately I’ve never seen it on sale in London but it’s available on the net.
As for all the numerous Russian language newspapers published in London, I am afraid they are only worth reading for ads of Russian restaurants, services and events. It’s a mystery to me who writes for them (someone who needs to take Russian lessons?!) but the number of mistakes in both Russian and English is scary. The Russkaya Mysl (“Russian thought”) is a happy exception (kind of) but it’s published in Paris.
The Russian Internet
The biggest Russian search engine is www.rambler.ru There you can find anything and everything that exists on the Russian net.
A site with e-cards in Russian is www.virtualflowers.ru
A charming site with old-fashioned Soviet-time posters which can be sent as e-cards is www.davno.ru
It's the 13th again! Russian superstitions
By Vlada 14 May 07
Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know: Notes of a Russian teacher on Russian superstitions
Sometimes (mainly when I fix Russian lessons for Friday the 13th!), students ask me – are Russians superstitious? And if so, are Russian superstitions similar to English ones? The answer is, yes Russians are superstitious. Most people will laugh if you ask them about superstitions, but… we do not like it when a black cat crosses our path, or when the first person we meet after leaving the house is somebody carrying an empty bucket. And a woman may be quite shocked if you give her a dozen roses!
It’s quite sad to believe this stuff at a time of high technology and globalisation but these things are so deeply rooted in our subconscious mind that they are hard to ignore. Some superstitions are as old as Time itself, going back to Pagan beliefs. They say that the tradition of touching wood for luck comes from our ancestors worshipping tree spirits…
So, here is a list of common superstitions. Hope some of them will make you smile!
For Good Luck.
It’s good luck to break a dish.
If a fly gets into your soup, you’ll get a gift or a treat.
It’s good luck to see a pig in the street. (When did you last see a pig in the street, in the literal sense of the word!)
It’s good luck to meet a funeral on the way.
Bad Luck.
If a hare crosses your way, it’s bad luck.
If a black cat crosses your way, it’s bad luck.
If you meet a woman carrying an empty bucket (walking towards you) it’s bad luck.
If you spill salt, there will be a row in the house.
If you break a mirror, it’s bad luck. Do not look into a broken mirror.
Do’s and don’t’s
Do not whistle in your own house. If you do, you won’t have any money.
Do not give sharp things (knives, scissors) as gifts. (because they can be used to injure someone).
If you get an animal (a kitten, etc) as a present, you should give a kopeck (token sum of money) for it.
Do not greet anyone or say good-bye to anyone across the threshold. If you do, you will have a row. (I must say, this one is always observed. Even in the business environment, people do not shake hands over a threshold)
Do not accept or give anything across the threshold. If you do, you will have a row.
If you give flowers to someone, always give an odd number (i.e. three, five, seven, etc) An even number of flowers (i.e. four, six, etc) are given to a dead person at the funeral.
Do not celebrate your birthday in advance of the actual date. (You may not make it! – we Russians are cheerful and optimistic guys!)
Do not return into the house once you’ve started on the way. But if you do have to, then look into the mirror. Otherwise you’ll have a bad journey.
Unmarried people should not sit at the corner of the table – if they do, they will never get married.
General superstitions.
If you sneeze while saying something, you are telling the truth.
If a fork or a spoon falls on the floor, you’ll shortly be visited by a woman (because in Russian a fork and a spoon are feminine). If a knife falls down, you’ll be visited by a man. (A knife is masculine).
If a cat washes his/her face, you’ll have guests soon.
If the right eye is itching, you’ll be laughing, the left one – you’ll be crying.
An eyelash coming out – you’ll have a gift.
If your lips are itching, you’ll be kissing.
If your right palm is itching, you’ll receive some money, and if the left one is itching, you’ll have to give money away.
If your nose is itching, you’ll be drinking.
If your ears or cheeks are burning, somebody is talking or thinking about you.
If you have an attack of hiccups, somebody is talking about you or cursing you.
If you do not recognise someone when you see them or call them on the phone, this person will get rich.
If your parents are alive, do not walk around in one shoe – you’ll lose a parent.
And now a couple of jokes about superstitions, after all, we don’t take them too seriously.
A Hedgehog comes to an Owl, saying, “Owl, you are a wise and well-educated bird, please tell me, a simple little animal, why is my nose itching all the time?” The Owl says, “It means you’ll go to a party and drink a lot tonight.” “And why are my eyes itching?” “That’s bad news! You’ll be crying.” “And why is my tummy itching?” “Listen, Hedgehog, go and wash yourself!”
A hundred-year old man has broken a mirror and looks very pleased about it. “Why are you so pleased?” people ask him. “You’ll have seven years of bad luck!” “But it means I’ll live another seven years!”
When you need to knock on the wood you suddenly discover that the whole world around you is made of plastic and aluminium.
The most terrifying superstition of all – a black cat breaking a mirror with an empty bucket!
Are We Really That Different?
By Vlada 9 March 07
or Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know. A few notes from a Russian teacher in London on cross-cultural attitudes.
When I was studying English philology in the University many years ago, one of our favourite teachers gave us a task: read a book by George Mikes called “How to be an Alien”. It proved to be not only very funny but also one of those books which, once you’ve read them, keep coming back to you in the form of party jokes and quotations that burst out of you totally unexpectedly for yourself. That’s of course if you are an Alien living in England…
I’ve lived in England for seven years now. I’ve always liked English people so much that I even married one. And there is nothing I could add to George Mikes’ comic tour-de-force but still… here are my own notes on the subject.
1. Understatement
The famous English understatement! “Would you like to come to our’s tomorrow night? It’s my husband’s birthday”. A text message from an English friend. I am puzzled – is it a question or an invitation? It’s not clear whether they want me to come or not! If it’s a question, the answer is no. If it’s an invitation it will be rude to refuse. So what is it? I need to call and carefully find out… A Russian would say – this makes life more difficult. A Brit would say – it’s only polite not to impose your wishes and opinions on people. Whichever attitude is better, Russians are not good at understatement – either making or understanding it.
2. Freedom of choice
But here is “Should I go to work tomorrow? I’ve got a bit of a cold…” Addressed to a Russian, this simple routine question will get a clear answer, telling you what to do. “Of course not! Are you crazy? What if you make it worse?! Don’t even think of it!” or: “Go but see how you feel. If you feel worse come home immediately!” All questions of this sort are answered in the imperative form, so that you know very clearly what to do and follow the instructions. Addressed to a Brit, the answer becomes elusive and unclear “Well, why don’t you decide it tomorrow? See how you feel in the morning… It’s up to you.” It’s very confusing for a Russian. A) You don’t know what to do. B) You get an impression that the person you are asking doesn’t care. C) There will be no one to blame if you do the wrong thing.
When in Russia or with Russians, give out clear instructions and use imperatives. They may blame you afterwards but will also love you more for it.
3. Temperature in the house
Russians are always cold in England. You come into someone’s freezing house as a guest for the first time (I always take extra scarves and shawls just in case) and hear the following comment with genuine surprise in the host’s voice: “But you are Russian! You must like it cold!” It makes me want to shout “NO!! No!! Please turn up the blooming heating!” Of course I understand that in Britain the cost of heating is huge in comparison to Russia. And the climate allows flimsy windows and poor heating. And 25 degrees in your flat in January is perhaps not a healthy temperature. But that’s the way we grew up! A good friend of mine, a lovely English lady called Doris once stayed in Moscow in the flat of my Moscow friend. She was left there alone overnight. The host came in the morning to discover that the window had been open for some time (January, -20 at night) and Doris was walking around the flat in her pajamas saying “How nice and crisp! I love it!” while the Russian woman couldn’t take off her fur coat. Of all the differences between us I think this one is the most striking!
Yes, Russian guests/friends/partners go blue with cold in English houses, and the other way round – the Brits boil to death in Russian flats. It’s a difficult one…
4. Personal comfort zone
No, I don’t like to be squeezed against somebody’s iron back (with somebody else’s hard briefcase going into my bottom on the other side) on the Moscow underground at 8.30 in the morning. I did it for ten years of my working life in Moscow. So long live the Anglo-Saxon notion of the comfort zone! Apart from the cases when you want someone to sit really close and they won’t…
Please don’t be upset when you are touched and brushed against in crowded public places in Russia. Russians have a collective mentality. Maybe because of the cold climate (like those penguins who flock together to keep warm in Antarctica??)
Last time I went on a suburban train in Moscow an old lady grabbed my arm because the step on the train was quite high and used me as a vehicle for having a lift, without any warning or saying thank you. C’est la vie…
Part 2
Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know: a few notes from a Russian teacher in London on cross-cultural attitudes
5. “Stiff upper lip”
This is an unclear subject for me at the moment. On the one hand, it definitely still exists. Around me in London people march to work being ill or injured. They make jokes when Russians would only swear (horribly) and whinge. They battle on through life like brave tin soldiers and do not complain where Russians would bore you to death with descriptions of poor health and general ghastliness of life. Yet on the other hand I regularly see grown up men weeping in front of the whole nation on a TV programme because they’ve just won something. So I am confused…
I am afraid Russians like to have a good whinge… Practical tip: when a Russian whinges, always ask leading questions and give advice on how to solve a problem, it doesn’t matter however crappy… it will be appreciated.
6. Health and safety
The whole country is obsessed with safety and yet the whole country lives in houses with staircases that may kill or maim you any minute. They are constructed in such a way that there is not quite enough space to save you if your foot slips. I’ve fallen off stairs twice (and I don’t even drink!) Last time it happened a year ago and my foot still hurts. Otherwise – it’s a great country for NOT breaking a leg, I admit. When we were in Venice last year I looked at it and thought – if it were Britain, every single canal and bridge would be fenced off, with huge signs prohibiting to come closer than 3 meters, and all gondola passengers would be made to wear a life jacket and a safety helmet – just in case!
Russians are pretty conscious of health but have a total disregard for safety. A Russian train will still run even if half of the engine is missing, and no one ever uses seat belts or helmets. Russians will look at you in despise (“what a boring spoil-sport!”) when you insist on doing a sensible safe thing. I personally despise my car because it tells me when I should put on my seatbelt. So when in Russia, be prepared to get surprised looks when you want to wear your seatbelt in the back seat of a car…
7. Appearances and fashion
Early February. Light frost. But enough to freeze you. I like to see how people on the train are dressed on such a day. Here is a young woman in a heavy fake fur coat but bare legs and summer shoes. Next door there is one in winter boots but a summer jacket with a bare chest. And there (oh my God!) there is a bloke in flip-flops but with winter gloves. What an eccentric nation the Brits are! Or is it because it’s just not quite cold enough to take it seriously? This is the area where I do feel like a complete alien. Woolly hats are an item of fashion rather than warmth. Numerous TV programmes with badly dressed presenters tell people how to dress. Girls in the City come to work in trainers combined with smart suits… I should admit though, it has taught me to be more relaxed about my looks. I can now leave house without my make up on and in mismatched clothes (can’t be bothered, life is too short!) – a no-no in Moscow. My Moscow girlfriends and my sister tell me off each time I do it there. But maybe life IS too short to think about appearances?
Russians do care about appearances, so bear it in mind if you want to impress them at a business or personal meeting…
8. Water supply
I ALWAYS run out of water and fly into a rage about it. It’s an advanced industrial country with a very wet climate but it’s impossible to have enough tap water. When an English friend of mine once visited me in Moscow, one of his first questions was “Shall I take a shower or a bath? Will there be enough water?” I laughed but was left somewhat puzzled. Now I see what he meant. And now every time I come back to Moscow I subconsciously try to save water, in spite of the fact that you can keep your tap open all day and it will never run out. It’s unlimited and very hot. What a little luxury for somebody who now lives in England!
If you have Russian guests, tell them how small your hot water tank is. Otherwise, you’ll all have to wash with cold water!
Part 3
Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know: a few notes from a Russian teacher in London on cross-cultural attitudes
9. Snow in England
“I am dreaming of a white Christmas”… you hear this in every single shop in December, with pouring rain and +10 outside. But why would you dream of one? For a start, no one would be able to travel to join their family for Christmas if that particular dream came true because the whole transport system breaks down when that happens!
The Brits have a peculiar relationship with snow. Snow is definitely a romantic thing – see movies and ads. In British movies handsome romantic characters walk around in the snow wearing just jumpers and jeans. And mysteriously, they don’t get cold and snow never sticks to their clothes and hair. But also, snow paralyses the whole country when it happens – so it’s a bore!
If you are Russian, snow is A) a nuisance (it gets into your face, sticks to your clothes, turns into nasty mash under your feet); B) a hazard (it makes pavements and stairs so slippery that sometimes it’s a circus act to get home without falling over, especially for women in high heels); C) something you wish would go away. Its only advantage is that it sparkles prettily under streetlights and brightens up dark nights.
10. Cats
I’ve always been a cat lover which manifested itself in feeding my school (and not only school) dinners to stray cats in Moscow and trying to find a nice home for a bunch of unwanted kittens every now and then. But the British take it to a whole new level. My cat has better health care than I do. He has medical insurance, we don’t.
In the old Soviet times there was a slogan – “In this country we have one privileged class – children!” In Britain, it’s cats! Which I find very admirable and touching. “Cats are people too”, say some English people. Hmm… you won’t hear that from a Russian!
11. Being positive
This principle must be American but it has firmly rooted itself in the British life nowadays.
When I ask my Russian friends “How are you?” the usual answer is “Nichevo” which literally means “nothing”. Nothing is good because it means that nothing out of the ordinary has happened recently. And don’t tempt fate by saying that things are good! One of my old university friends used to say for years, when asked “Kak dela?” (How are you?) – “Starting with the letter H, but don’t think it’s HOROSHO (“good” in Russian). There are some hideous swear words in Russian starting with H, so I was supposed to choose one myself to describe her state of affairs. Now, ten years later, she just says “Don’t ask!” If you ask a Russian how (s)he feels, expect to get chapter and verse, with no positive spin. “Mustn’t grumble” is an alien (Anglo-Saxon) concept to us. You’ve been warned!
12 Cuisine
When I first had a spicy curry it cured my headache (it was such a shock for my body that it almost shut down all its functions!) but left me forever traumatised by Indian food, so popular with the Brits. And I know I am not alone!
If you have Russians as guests, they would eat anything because it is considered rude not to eat the food you are given. But they would rather not eat: pre-sliced bread out of a plastic package, marmite or Bovril, spicy curries, runny smelly French-style cheese…
I love beetroot. My husband hates it. He loves smelly French cheese, and I am genuinely concerned about his health when he eats it because it looks and smells so rotten. I love sauerkraut and picked gherkins. He can’t see them without saying “Yak”. So sometimes we end up eating together with completely different stuff on our plates!
Receiving you as a guest in Russia, your Russian hosts will assume that you would eat anything, and they will make an effort to feed you nice things. If you can’t eat something, there will be plenty of other things to eat, because Russian meals are big and consist of lots of things. But you may have to starve if you are a vegetarian…
10 Tips for a beginner learning Russian
By Vlada 11 February 07
Thinking of learning Russian but uncertain about what that might involve? Is it a challenge or a piece of cake? Here are some tips for complete beginners who are about to start a Russian course.
1. The Cyrillic Script.
Don’t be scared of the Russian alphabet. Yes, it looks different and lots of people starting to learn Russian think it’s going to be the most difficult thing to master. But this is not the case! There are 33 letters to learn and each letter (apart from two silent ones) represents one sound. There are no complicated reading rules, you read what you see! Taking into account the fact that some of the letters are the same as in English, and some are Greek, alphabet learning is not a very daunting task. Most people can read after the first lesson and become confident after a few weeks.
2. Writing in Russian
Once you’ve learned the alphabet (well, more or less), try not to use English letters to write down Russian words because a) it will slow down the process of getting used to the new language; b) English spelling cannot represent Russian pronunciation correctly because the sounds in these two languages are different, so you won’t get a good accent straight away.
3. Russian pronunciation.
Nothing too difficult there. Be prepared to roll your “R”s. (Scottish people usually have a very good Russian accent!) and put together some consonants that are unusual for an English ear. If you can’t roll your “R”s, it is of course not the end of the world. You’ll be understood perfectly well. Some Russian people can’t do it either. Lenin was one, for example!
4. Learning Russian words
There are quite a lot of “international” words in Russian that you will easily recognise and remember (English words borrowed recently with the advance of new technologies, French words that came into Russian in the 18th-19th centuries when French was the language of the aristocracy and the court, German and Dutch words brought by Peter the Great…) but the core of the vocabulary is Slavonic, so be prepared to learn completely unfamiliar combinations of sounds. Unless of course you are a speaker of another Slavonic language already. In which case you will learn Russian twice as fast as speakers of Western European languages.
5. Russian grammar.
Well, this is the most difficult bit. Be prepared to learn a couple of dozen endings for various cases and conjugations. The structure itself is quite similar to Latin, so it has all the same recognisable concepts as Western European languages. The good news is that you’ll still be understood if you get the endings wrong!
6. Word stress (accent)
The stress in a word is unpredictable so it can be on any part of a word. Same situation as in English, in fact. In all textbooks the stress will be marked for you but not in real “grown up” texts. So if in doubt, just try to pronounce each syllable distinctly as if they are all stressed. Russian words are of course longer than English ones. A text translated from English into Russian becomes longer and vice versa!
7. Dialects and accents.
No need to worry about them at all! An educated native Russian speaker from Vladivostok will sound exactly the same as one from Moscow which is 10 hours away by plane. Isn’t that great?
8. Homework – with or without?
That’s up to you to decide (although your teacher may insist on it and will of course be right!). If you want to achieve good results in a short period of time be prepared to do at least 3 hours of work at home outside the classroom. But if you can’t find the time, you’ll still make progress but it’ll be slower. I’ve had students who reached a good standard of Russian without doing any homework – but of course it took them much longer (and their company’s bills were much higher) than people who do regular homework.
9. Just facts
You’ll need to know some Russian if you travel unaccompanied in Russia and other Russian speaking countries, especially outside big cities. According to statistics, only 3% of Russians population speak a foreign language (and not necessarily English!).
Russian is the 5th most spoken language on Earth (after Chinese, English, Hindu and Urdu).
10. And generally…
It’s not rocket science. You can do it!
Plus a quotation
The famous Russian scholar and scientist Mikhail Lomonosov wrote in the 18th century: “They say that Spanish is good for talking with God, French – for talking with friends, German – for talking with enemies, Italian – for talking with women… But Russian is good for talking to all of the above, because it has the grandeur of Spanish, the vivacity of French, the strength of German, the gentleness of Italian, and in addition to that, the wealth and … brevity of Latin and Greek.”
Doesn’t that make you want to learn Russian?!
21 Travel Tips for Moscow
By Vlada 15 January 07
1. Learn the Cyrillic alphabet
If you’re planning to get around on your own, your life will be much easier if you learn the Cyrillic alphabet. Most street signs and signs in the metro are not translated into English.
2. Time zones
There are ten time zones in Russia. Moscow and St. Petersburg are three hours ahead of London. Russia also has summer time, when the clocks go forward. Summer time starts in April and finishes at the end of October.
3. Get a visa
Every westerner traveling to Russia needs a visa. Visit the website of the Russian Embassy in the UK.
4. Customs declaration
When you arrive in Russia, you have to fill in a customs declaration stating how much money in cash you have on you. Keep this declaration throughout you visit, because it may be checked on the way out. Theoretically, you cannot take out of the country more money in cash than you brought in.
5. Have somewhere to stay
When you arrive in Russia, you will also need to fill in an immigration card, stating where you are going to stay, for how long.
6. Carry your passport
Carry your passport with you at all times.
7. Currency
Which currency to take? The best bet is to take American dollars or Euros in cash. You will find small bureaux de change everywhere in big cities where you can exchange dollars or Euros into roubles and vice versa. In big cities you will also find cash machines that accept all major credit and debit cards. The plusher kind of restaurant and supermarkets will accept credit cards, but small local ones won’t. British sterling is quite a rare currency, and you can only exchange it in big banks. Ditto with travelers’ cheques.
8. Taxis
Official Moscow taxies look like New York ones, but they are quite expensive. Muscovites do not use them. You just put up your hand in the street and private cars will stop to collect you. Sounds crazy but it’s a popular way for Russian drivers to make some extra money. You set the price before getting into the car. The driver usually asks how much you are prepared to pay. Needless to say, anyone using this service should be very careful and only get into someone’s car if the driver looks trustworthy!
9. Minicabs
You can call and book an official minicab in Moscow by dialing 232 11 11. (but they speak Russian only!).
10. The metro
The best way to get around Moscow is by metro. It’s big, fast, reliable and cheap. The price of one journey is 17 roubles (1 pound sterling is 50 roubles). You can buy tickets for 1, 2, 5, 10 or 20 journeys. It’s a bit cheaper to buy a card for several journeys in advance. The price does not depend on your destination. But avoid the rush hours (8.30 till 9.30 am and 5.30 till 7.00 pm) because some lines are very crowded.
11. Crowded trains and buses
Russians do not have a comfort zone like the Brits or Americans do. So people will get very close to you on a crowded train or bus. Don’t take it personally! But if you do mind being pressed against someone’s chest or back, avoid taking public transport in rush hour.
12. Traffic jams
Traffic jams can be horrendous in the centre of Moscow at any time of the day. You have been warned.
13. Museum tickets
Museum tickets are much more expensive for foreigners than for Russian people, and it’s official (unfortunately). No one checks your documents though, so you can pass for a Russian if you have a good accent and do not look too foreign!
14. Buy a street map of Moscow
You can buy a street map of Moscow in pretty much any newsagent/bookshop. It won’t be in English, but that probably won’t matter.
15. Don’t miss the metro
The Moscow metro doesn’t work quite like others you may be familiar with. Instead of having stations that have platforms serving several different train lines, every platform on the Russian metro is regarded as a station in itself. Thus when you transfer from one line to another, you’ll find yourself following signs not for another train line, but for another station! Don’t worry: this may sound confusing, but it’s actually very logical and you’ll get the hang of it. If you do get lost, try to enjoy it – the Moscow metro is one of the great engineering marvels of the world and is extremely beautiful. The system opens at 6 am and closes at 1 am.
16. Pedestrians officially do NOT have right of way
Muscovites, like Parisians, drive like lunatics. Worse yet, pedestrians officially do NOT have right of way on city streets and motorists do. So be very careful crossing roads.
17. Beware of pickpockets and beggars
Like any big city, Moscow has its dangers for visitors – particularly late at night. Beware of pickpockets and beggars, who have a reputation for being aggressive. In the city centre, it’s generally safe for tourists whatever the hour.
18. Moscow between November and April
If you’re visiting Moscow between November and April, bring appropriate clothing – it can be very cold! Importantly, make sure you bring waterproof footwear: occasional thaws can make the streets very dirty and slushy. Be very careful with flights of steps: many of these are made of granite, which is astonishingly slippery in the frost.
19. Everything is available
Moscow has changed dramatically in the last ten years. You don’t need to worry about not being able to buy cosmetics, drugs or special items that you deem essential: everything is available to buy in situ.
20. Plugs
Russia has the same electricity system as Western Europe, i.e. two-prong round-pin plugs.
21. A word about car hire
A word about car hire: it may be possible, but don’t be tempted. Russian notions of insurance are, er, primitive. Roads are a bit agricultural. And people drive, as noted above, like lunatics. Spare yourself the pain!
Impressions of Moscow
By Vlada 15 January 07
Are you about to go to Russia for the first time? Do you belong to the generation of English people who think it may be a slightly scary experience because you heard so much negative stuff during the Cold War? Here is a piece written by someone who belongs to the same generation and for whom Russia was at first an exotic experience.
A Londoner writes:
Don’t let the cold put you off, my friends assured me. Moscow’s great. You’ll love it. But, er, you know pack a hat.
Well, you’ll need the hat if you go in winter. And make it a good, full-on, non-PC furry one. Minus 20 is jolly parky. Minus 30 is painful. I’m still cringeing at the photos of my scarlet ears on that first visit, when I chose to ignore the hat advice.
Lesson 1: Russian winter is not to be trifled with
My friends were right, though: Moscow IS a great city, and I did love it. It has enough of the recognisable to feel familiar, yet also a good dollop of the mystery and “otherness” that sets Russia apart from western Europe. On the wide prospects and avenues leading through the city you’ll find the McDonald’s drive-throughs and the huge IKEA warehouses so familiar anywhere else. But step off the main drag into smaller streets and you meet a new world of food shops, mini-marts and curio shops with bizarre names and even more bizarre items for sale. Dried fish (vobla) as a dinner snack, anyone?
It helps, of course, to know the Cyrillic alphabet. If you’ve no idea how to read Russian words, you’ll have some baffled moments. Navigating the splendid metro system, for instance, with its stunning marbled and chandeliered stations and fast, reliable trains, is child’s play if you can read and a nightmare if you can’t. You don’t need to know any Russian, thank heaven, but the alphabet is an essential. And if you DO know some Russian, don’t be disheartened if you get puzzled looks when you try it out. Russians aren’t used to hearing foreigners speak their language and even the smallest mispronunciation provokes bafflement. Don’t give up.
Lesson 2: learn Cyrillics
There’s much to see in Moscow outside those marvelous metro stations. The Kremlin, obviously, is on every tourist’s hit-list and deservedly so. There’s something both thrillingly ghoulish and sternly awe-inspiring about walking between rows and rows of dusty coffins containing the earthly remains of every Tsar in Russian history. Little, if anything, about the Kremlin building has changed in centuries, and the place oozes atmosphere. Blinking in the sunshine of a snowy Kremlin courtyard, surrounded by the impedimenta of tsarist orthodoxy and the sombre inscriptions commemorating appalling sacrifices made by men to protect Mother Russia from a thousand invaders over a millennium, it’s just about possible even for a soulless Anglo-Saxon to feel some of the immense dignity, courage, loss and sadness of the Russian soul. I defy anyone not to find this indeed, everything in Russia an affecting experience.
Lesson 3: bring a handkerchief
And there is, of course, much more. Red Square is astounding. For starters, it’s vast. Far, far bigger than the TV suggests. Think of a huge soccer stadium, double it, add about another hectare and you’re getting the picture. Impressive, to say the least. Plus with the Kremlin wall on one side, the enormous Gum department store on the other, St Basil’s at one end and the vast ruby star hanging high over the whole, Red Square has a luminous grandeur that has no equal in any western city I’ve visited. On a winter night, with ice crystals sparkling in the freshly fallen snow and crunching underfoot, it’s a seriously romantic spot.
Lesson 4: Bring a husband/wife/lover/mistress
Under no circumstances, though, should you bring a dietician. Russian food is heavy – high octane stuff for a harsh climate. Not many green vegetables to be had, although this is changing as restaurants become more adventurous. Not that there’s anything wrong with the food they’re offering: quite the contrary. Georgian food, a popular part of the restaurant repertoire, is sensational. A cross between Turkish and Greek cuisine, with a touch of something exotic thrown in, it’s a treat for carnivores and foodies of all types.
Lesson 5: Don’t bring a vegetarian. Or leave him/her at home when you go out to eat
Moscow is the only city I’ve ever visited where, as a man of six foot, I’m merely of average height among people in the street which is strangely reassuring. Also good news for the male tourist, at least is that every trip out of doors brings the rewarding sight of hordes of knock-your-eye-out pretty girls. I swear Moscow girls are so attractive it’s a wonder that Parisian model scouts aren’t permanently camped on every street corner. I could go on and on and on about this if my wife weren’t vetting this text.
Lesson 6: Be single
For a change of pace, you could of course go in summer. I was stunned to see Moscow in July after my first trip in darkest winter. For starters, there’s the poplar fluff tons and tons of it floating about in the baking, roasting, sizzling heat. From minus 30 to plus 35 is a pretty major journey, I can tell you, and seeing it all through the prism of this weird floating fluff adds a surreal fillip to the Moscow scene. At these times the countryside is also heartbreakingly pretty: Think of the movie Legend, minus the unicorns and Tim Curry, and you get it.
Lesson 7: Don’t take a hat. And don’t take ANY clothes offering anything remotely approaching thermal insulation
One disadvantage of a summer visit is the mosquitoes slavering, ravenous, rabid mosquitoes that strip flesh to the bone in seconds (I swear to God I’ve never been so murderously assaulted in all my life) but then, at least you’ll have Moscow to yourself. Most of the summer, Muscovites retreat to their country dachas to grow tomatoes and aubergines and loll about in the fiery heat. This is both a plus and a minus: a minus because there are fewer people-watching opportunities and a plus because there’s no Muscovites who are pretty cynical and hard-bitten. But then, so are big-city folk the world over. To their credit, Moscow’s inhabitants are also jocular, witty, sardonic, superstitious and generous. Immensely generous. Dare to make friends with anyone and you’ll go home with a suitcase double the weight of the one you brought in. It’s a serious hazard, in fact, because once a couple of people have given you the treatment you’ll be obliged to charter a supertanker to get all your gifts home. You have been warned.
Lesson 8: Charter a supertanker
Any drawbacks? Not that I found. Some of Moscow is rather shabby. Most people live in small apartments. Nothing there that will come as a huge surprise to anyone living in London, Tokyo or Manhattan. You might not put Moscow first on your list if you’re looking to do serious designer clothes shopping. Frankly, if shopping’s your bag, you’re probably not the type to want to visit anyway. Moscow favors the curious, the adventurous, the humorous, the philanthropist and the romantic.
Lesson 9: Go there. Just do it