Russian Blog
This is a blog by JustRussian about learning Russian. You will find useful tips for learning Russian, Russian courses available in London, information about Russian culture and links to websites with information for students of Russian.
Are We Really That Different?
By Vlada 9 March 07
or Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know. A few notes from a Russian teacher in London on cross-cultural attitudes.
When I was studying English philology in the University many years ago, one of our favourite teachers gave us a task: read a book by George Mikes called “How to be an Alien”. It proved to be not only very funny but also one of those books which, once you’ve read them, keep coming back to you in the form of party jokes and quotations that burst out of you totally unexpectedly for yourself. That’s of course if you are an Alien living in England…
I’ve lived in England for seven years now. I’ve always liked English people so much that I even married one. And there is nothing I could add to George Mikes’ comic tour-de-force but still… here are my own notes on the subject.
1. Understatement
The famous English understatement! “Would you like to come to our’s tomorrow night? It’s my husband’s birthday”. A text message from an English friend. I am puzzled – is it a question or an invitation? It’s not clear whether they want me to come or not! If it’s a question, the answer is no. If it’s an invitation it will be rude to refuse. So what is it? I need to call and carefully find out… A Russian would say – this makes life more difficult. A Brit would say – it’s only polite not to impose your wishes and opinions on people. Whichever attitude is better, Russians are not good at understatement – either making or understanding it.
2. Freedom of choice
But here is “Should I go to work tomorrow? I’ve got a bit of a cold…” Addressed to a Russian, this simple routine question will get a clear answer, telling you what to do. “Of course not! Are you crazy? What if you make it worse?! Don’t even think of it!” or: “Go but see how you feel. If you feel worse come home immediately!” All questions of this sort are answered in the imperative form, so that you know very clearly what to do and follow the instructions. Addressed to a Brit, the answer becomes elusive and unclear “Well, why don’t you decide it tomorrow? See how you feel in the morning… It’s up to you.” It’s very confusing for a Russian. A) You don’t know what to do. B) You get an impression that the person you are asking doesn’t care. C) There will be no one to blame if you do the wrong thing.
When in Russia or with Russians, give out clear instructions and use imperatives. They may blame you afterwards but will also love you more for it.
3. Temperature in the house
Russians are always cold in England. You come into someone’s freezing house as a guest for the first time (I always take extra scarves and shawls just in case) and hear the following comment with genuine surprise in the host’s voice: “But you are Russian! You must like it cold!” It makes me want to shout “NO!! No!! Please turn up the blooming heating!” Of course I understand that in Britain the cost of heating is huge in comparison to Russia. And the climate allows flimsy windows and poor heating. And 25 degrees in your flat in January is perhaps not a healthy temperature. But that’s the way we grew up! A good friend of mine, a lovely English lady called Doris once stayed in Moscow in the flat of my Moscow friend. She was left there alone overnight. The host came in the morning to discover that the window had been open for some time (January, -20 at night) and Doris was walking around the flat in her pajamas saying “How nice and crisp! I love it!” while the Russian woman couldn’t take off her fur coat. Of all the differences between us I think this one is the most striking!
Yes, Russian guests/friends/partners go blue with cold in English houses, and the other way round – the Brits boil to death in Russian flats. It’s a difficult one…
4. Personal comfort zone
No, I don’t like to be squeezed against somebody’s iron back (with somebody else’s hard briefcase going into my bottom on the other side) on the Moscow underground at 8.30 in the morning. I did it for ten years of my working life in Moscow. So long live the Anglo-Saxon notion of the comfort zone! Apart from the cases when you want someone to sit really close and they won’t…
Please don’t be upset when you are touched and brushed against in crowded public places in Russia. Russians have a collective mentality. Maybe because of the cold climate (like those penguins who flock together to keep warm in Antarctica??)
Last time I went on a suburban train in Moscow an old lady grabbed my arm because the step on the train was quite high and used me as a vehicle for having a lift, without any warning or saying thank you. C’est la vie…
Part 2
Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know: a few notes from a Russian teacher in London on cross-cultural attitudes
5. “Stiff upper lip”
This is an unclear subject for me at the moment. On the one hand, it definitely still exists. Around me in London people march to work being ill or injured. They make jokes when Russians would only swear (horribly) and whinge. They battle on through life like brave tin soldiers and do not complain where Russians would bore you to death with descriptions of poor health and general ghastliness of life. Yet on the other hand I regularly see grown up men weeping in front of the whole nation on a TV programme because they’ve just won something. So I am confused…
I am afraid Russians like to have a good whinge… Practical tip: when a Russian whinges, always ask leading questions and give advice on how to solve a problem, it doesn’t matter however crappy… it will be appreciated.
6. Health and safety
The whole country is obsessed with safety and yet the whole country lives in houses with staircases that may kill or maim you any minute. They are constructed in such a way that there is not quite enough space to save you if your foot slips. I’ve fallen off stairs twice (and I don’t even drink!) Last time it happened a year ago and my foot still hurts. Otherwise – it’s a great country for NOT breaking a leg, I admit. When we were in Venice last year I looked at it and thought – if it were Britain, every single canal and bridge would be fenced off, with huge signs prohibiting to come closer than 3 meters, and all gondola passengers would be made to wear a life jacket and a safety helmet – just in case!
Russians are pretty conscious of health but have a total disregard for safety. A Russian train will still run even if half of the engine is missing, and no one ever uses seat belts or helmets. Russians will look at you in despise (“what a boring spoil-sport!”) when you insist on doing a sensible safe thing. I personally despise my car because it tells me when I should put on my seatbelt. So when in Russia, be prepared to get surprised looks when you want to wear your seatbelt in the back seat of a car…
7. Appearances and fashion
Early February. Light frost. But enough to freeze you. I like to see how people on the train are dressed on such a day. Here is a young woman in a heavy fake fur coat but bare legs and summer shoes. Next door there is one in winter boots but a summer jacket with a bare chest. And there (oh my God!) there is a bloke in flip-flops but with winter gloves. What an eccentric nation the Brits are! Or is it because it’s just not quite cold enough to take it seriously? This is the area where I do feel like a complete alien. Woolly hats are an item of fashion rather than warmth. Numerous TV programmes with badly dressed presenters tell people how to dress. Girls in the City come to work in trainers combined with smart suits… I should admit though, it has taught me to be more relaxed about my looks. I can now leave house without my make up on and in mismatched clothes (can’t be bothered, life is too short!) – a no-no in Moscow. My Moscow girlfriends and my sister tell me off each time I do it there. But maybe life IS too short to think about appearances?
Russians do care about appearances, so bear it in mind if you want to impress them at a business or personal meeting…
8. Water supply
I ALWAYS run out of water and fly into a rage about it. It’s an advanced industrial country with a very wet climate but it’s impossible to have enough tap water. When an English friend of mine once visited me in Moscow, one of his first questions was “Shall I take a shower or a bath? Will there be enough water?” I laughed but was left somewhat puzzled. Now I see what he meant. And now every time I come back to Moscow I subconsciously try to save water, in spite of the fact that you can keep your tap open all day and it will never run out. It’s unlimited and very hot. What a little luxury for somebody who now lives in England!
If you have Russian guests, tell them how small your hot water tank is. Otherwise, you’ll all have to wash with cold water!
Part 3
Something you will not learn in your Russian lessons but might want to know: a few notes from a Russian teacher in London on cross-cultural attitudes
9. Snow in England
“I am dreaming of a white Christmas”… you hear this in every single shop in December, with pouring rain and +10 outside. But why would you dream of one? For a start, no one would be able to travel to join their family for Christmas if that particular dream came true because the whole transport system breaks down when that happens!
The Brits have a peculiar relationship with snow. Snow is definitely a romantic thing – see movies and ads. In British movies handsome romantic characters walk around in the snow wearing just jumpers and jeans. And mysteriously, they don’t get cold and snow never sticks to their clothes and hair. But also, snow paralyses the whole country when it happens – so it’s a bore!
If you are Russian, snow is A) a nuisance (it gets into your face, sticks to your clothes, turns into nasty mash under your feet); B) a hazard (it makes pavements and stairs so slippery that sometimes it’s a circus act to get home without falling over, especially for women in high heels); C) something you wish would go away. Its only advantage is that it sparkles prettily under streetlights and brightens up dark nights.
10. Cats
I’ve always been a cat lover which manifested itself in feeding my school (and not only school) dinners to stray cats in Moscow and trying to find a nice home for a bunch of unwanted kittens every now and then. But the British take it to a whole new level. My cat has better health care than I do. He has medical insurance, we don’t.
In the old Soviet times there was a slogan – “In this country we have one privileged class – children!” In Britain, it’s cats! Which I find very admirable and touching. “Cats are people too”, say some English people. Hmm… you won’t hear that from a Russian!
11. Being positive
This principle must be American but it has firmly rooted itself in the British life nowadays.
When I ask my Russian friends “How are you?” the usual answer is “Nichevo” which literally means “nothing”. Nothing is good because it means that nothing out of the ordinary has happened recently. And don’t tempt fate by saying that things are good! One of my old university friends used to say for years, when asked “Kak dela?” (How are you?) – “Starting with the letter H, but don’t think it’s HOROSHO (“good” in Russian). There are some hideous swear words in Russian starting with H, so I was supposed to choose one myself to describe her state of affairs. Now, ten years later, she just says “Don’t ask!” If you ask a Russian how (s)he feels, expect to get chapter and verse, with no positive spin. “Mustn’t grumble” is an alien (Anglo-Saxon) concept to us. You’ve been warned!
12 Cuisine
When I first had a spicy curry it cured my headache (it was such a shock for my body that it almost shut down all its functions!) but left me forever traumatised by Indian food, so popular with the Brits. And I know I am not alone!
If you have Russians as guests, they would eat anything because it is considered rude not to eat the food you are given. But they would rather not eat: pre-sliced bread out of a plastic package, marmite or Bovril, spicy curries, runny smelly French-style cheese…
I love beetroot. My husband hates it. He loves smelly French cheese, and I am genuinely concerned about his health when he eats it because it looks and smells so rotten. I love sauerkraut and picked gherkins. He can’t see them without saying “Yak”. So sometimes we end up eating together with completely different stuff on our plates!
Receiving you as a guest in Russia, your Russian hosts will assume that you would eat anything, and they will make an effort to feed you nice things. If you can’t eat something, there will be plenty of other things to eat, because Russian meals are big and consist of lots of things. But you may have to starve if you are a vegetarian…